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How to Plan Your Same-Sex Wedding? Follow These 10 Important Steps

11 January 2023


Gay couple exchanging gold wedding rings

Congratulations! You’ve finally gotten engaged, and now you’re wondering what comes next. It’s exciting, but also overwhelming. You have a lot of decisions to make: where will the wedding take place? What kind of dress should I wear? Who are our attendants going to be? Is there anything else that needs to happen before the big day?

Where do you begin? There’s no specific order to follow as long as you tackle the immediate tasks. It’s scary and amazing to commit the rest of your life to the love of your life, but planning a wedding together is the icing on the cake. Let us guide you in making these decisions with ease.

Here are the top 12 things to do as soon as you get engaged:

1. Share the Important News With People You Care About and Trust

After getting engaged, share the news first with friends and relatives you trust. The fewer people you share the news with, the better chance you have of keeping things under wraps until you are ready to announce it to the world at large. You might want to wait at least two weeks before you announce it to everyone so you can have enough time to get used to being engaged and to figure out what you want to do next. 

2. Refrain From Announcing Your Engagement on Social Media Until Everyone Has Been Informed

If you want to announce your engagement online, wait for at least 24 hours after reaching out to those close to you. If someone doesn’t respond within this timeframe, assume they haven’t heard yet. Don’t worry—you still have plenty of other ways to let them know without posting something publicly. Just send an email or text message instead. 

        A happy LGBTQ couple after their engagement

3. You Don’t Need to Start Wedding Planning Immediately

Don’t rush through any decision-making process. Remember how excited you were when you got engaged? Now it’s time to slow down and enjoy every minute of being engaged. Make sure you spend some quality time with each other. Go see movies, play games, go hiking, read books…whatever makes you both happy. Enjoying yourself while getting ready for marriage won’t feel like work once you start doing it regularly.

 4. Understand How Much Money You Can Spend on Your Wedding

The amount of money that you will have to spend is determined by the type and size of your wedding. If you are having a small, intimate affair with only family members in attendance, then it will be easier for you to budget for this event than if you were planning an elaborate ceremony attended by hundreds or even thousands of guests. The more people who attend your wedding, the larger the bill becomes. You should also consider whether you want to pay for entertainment such as live music or dancing at your reception.

5. Find Out if a Marriage License Is Necessary

Some US states require a license before getting married. These licenses vary depending upon where you reside. Civil marriages take place within the state’s jurisdiction, while religious ceremonies occur outside the state. It is also important to note that most states allow same-sex weddings; however, some states still prohibit gay unions.

If you’re marrying in another country, check with local authorities regarding requirements.

Hand holding a pen and signing a legal document

6. Discuss With Your Partner What You Both Want for Your Wedding

If one of you wants a big, elaborate affair and the other prefers something more intimate, it’s important to discuss this before making any decisions about where or how to get married. This step is important because it helps ensure that everything goes smoothly on the big day. Discussing these details early on makes sure that no major issues arise during planning. 

7. Determine the Wedding Date

The first thing you need to decide is when your wedding will be held. This way, you can start planning for the big day. If you wait until later, you may find yourself rushing into things. Make sure that it’s not too early or too late for a particular season of the year. You don’t want to go through with your plans only to find yourself having to cancel because of bad weather. 

 8. Make a List of Priorities

Think about things like who is most important to invite, where you see yourself spending money, and what kind of reception would make you happiest. Once you have created your own personal list of priorities, compare it against those of your fiancé. Make adjustments based on his or her preferences. You may have some ideas already, but if not, now’s the perfect time to brainstorm!

9. Consider Relationship Counseling or Coaching Before Marriage

Many people think they know how their partner feels about them until after marriage. Premarital relationships are often full of surprises, which can lead to problems down the road. Couples should talk openly about any issues they face prior to becoming married. Counseling sessions can help you understand your feelings better and learn ways to communicate more effectively. They can also provide guidance on topics such as finances, sex life, parenting skills, and future goals.

Couple sitting on a couch, talking about what to consider in planning their gay wedding

10. Enjoy the Engagement 

Remember to take pleasure in every moment of your engagement. It doesn’t matter whether you’re looking forward to the big day or dreading it; just remember to appreciate the experience. Remember to celebrate all the little moments along the way and to always keep romance alive between you and your sweetheart. Focus on the good, and don’t sweat the small stuff, that’s two easy ones that go a long way.


Your next steps after getting engaged are clear now. It’s time to get the wedding planning process started! Visit our directory to find the best LGBTQ-friendly wedding vendors for your special day!

a gay couple nearly kissing at their wedding

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